Rape Pandemic: Instructions for Men

The age-old problem of rape has, unfortunately, returned once again to the spotlight. Everyone, as usual, gave their opinions on the solution of the matter: on the one hand, the mass media adopted the conservative attitude of assigning responsibility to women. On the other hand, the progressive groups focused on the male rapists and criticism against them to solve the issue. However, both of these approaches are ineffective and often prevent the convergence of the sexes, resulting in their polarization. 

Blaming women, who are the victims of the phenomenon, is inappropriate: most women take precautions so that no such violent act happens to them, because they all know how dangerous the outside world is to them. We can't ask them to put their lives on ice too, giving them rules about how to dress, where to go out and when to come back. It is, first and foremost, obscene to ask the victims to change, but it is also pointless since it does not combat the root of the problem.

Searching for a solution by turning to the perpetrators is also fruitless. Someone capable of rape doesn't have the social sensitivity to listen to the other side, since he is already risking doing something socially abhorrent and illegal. In other words, either he has weighed the risks and believes that he will not be caught (or even if he is caught, he risks it) or it is an emotional reaction which does not belong to the spectrum of logical resolution. So, no matter how many protests are made against the rapist, they are pointless, with the state already acting against them and them not being receptive enough to be dissuaded.

Society, of course, is not divided into just perpetrators and victims and therefore the solution to the problem is left to everyone else. Specifically, the solution must be given by men, since it is a problem prevalent in our community.

Let's start by making clear that there is a difference between a male and a man: men have certain values that set them apart from males. These values (not exclusive to men but more evolutionarily linked to masculinity) can solve the problem, but they seem to be getting rarer day by day.

The first of these values is courage. Lacking courage, many males prefer silence in the face of injustice, for the sake of their own peace of mind. When a sexist opinion is heard or an inappropriate act is performed, such a person (even when he knows it is wrong) prefers to ignore it, so that there is no friction in the group. Instead of criticizing and educating others, he sits in silence admiring his own moral advantage, since he does not need reprimanding. But there is no morality in cowardice. Any feeling of superiority of such a person is not a matter of social virtue but of individualistic self-satisfaction. Instead, a courageous man can not only intervene and prevent inappropriate behaviour, but also confront misogynistic attitudes at their root.

The second ideal is the love of responsibility. The modern lack of accountability has prevented many problems from being solved. Because when we avoid responsibility, those who create problems act undisturbed on the basis of our inaction. In particular, many of us wouldn't think of harassing a woman, many of us are surrounded by people who also wouldn't think of it. Does this mean there is nothing we can do? That our responsibilities stop there? Most of us have female friends who return home alone. Do we offer to accompany them? Or do we do so only when it suits us? The love of responsibility is not limited to fulfilling our basic responsibilities but to taking on more, for the benefit of the people close to us and society as a whole.

The third value is that of taking initiative. A lack of initiative can bring a lot of suffering to a person's psyche. With less initiative, a man bogs down socially, financially and (mostly in the case of males) sexually. Someone who doesn't take initiative usually has few successes and therefore low self-esteem, which, in turn, leads to isolation. This isolation can be a catalyst in the making of a rapist: the absence of initiative prevents him from getting what he wants the right way and, therefore, he can go to extremes to get it.

Καταληκτικά, σε μια κοινωνία η οποία τείνει να κάνει την αρρενωπότητα μια λέξη ταμπού, η υγιής αρρενωπότητα, δύναται να φτιάξει μια κοινωνία που να μην χωράει τον βιασμό. Οφείλουμε ως σύνολο, να μεγαλώσουμε άνδρες με ιδανικά, που όχι μόνο δεν θα εμπλακούν σε βιασμό αλλά θα έχουν και έναν ισχυρό ρόλο στην αποτροπή του. Καλά τα πλακάτ που κάποιοι άνδρες σηκώνουν κατά της πατριαρχίας. Ωστόσο, η λύση  δεν βρίσκεται όταν αποποιούμαστε των ευθυνών μας αλλά όταν κοιτάμε μέσα μας. Η ισότητα οφείλει να είναι η πυξίδα μας στο μέλλον, όχι αποδυναμώνοντας το ένα φύλο σε σχέση με το άλλο αλλά με την ενδυνάμωση αμφότερων. Γιατί μια γυναίκα είναι ασφαλέστερη μεταξύ ηθικά και συναισθηματικά δυνατών ανδρών, παρά σε μια ανδρική κοινότητα αφοπλισμένων αλλά ηθικά έκπτωτων αρσενικών.