Speaking up against violence

Like yesterday, ten years ago, we started learning about the story of Vangelis Giakoumakis. A story of bullying, abuse and more, that led a young man to his death. We remember this story at a time when we are all outraged and appalled by the story of three-year-old Angelos, who was killed after a lot of torture by the very people who were supposed to look after him.

The stories of Vangelis and Angelos, beyond their tragic outcome, share a basic similarity: the indifference and inaction of bystanders. This behavior has indirectly given rise to many evils in our society, by not preventing them.

Συγκεκριμένα, γύρω μας συμβαίνουν και θα συμβαίνουν πολλά δεινά. Η πρώτη και (εύκολη) κίνηση είναι να τα κατακρίνουμε και να δηλώσουμε τη λύπη, την αηδία και την οργή μας, τόσο γι’ αυτά όσο και για την κοινωνία που τα γέννησε. Με την κίνησή μας αυτή προσπαθούμε να αποτινάξουμε το βάρος από πάνω μας, δείχνοντας την δική μας ηθική υπεροχή. Για να μην είναι τόσο εμφανής, ωστόσο, η προσπάθεια αυτοπροβολής μας, χρησιμοποιούμε το α’ πληθυντικό και μιλάμε για την «κοινωνία μας». Και αν και γίνεται για αντιπερισπασμό, το α’ πληθυντικό είναι η σωστή χρήση, γιατί στην κοινωνία φταίμε όλοι μας.

In the case of Vangelis, many would have heard things, seen thing and remained silent. The same would probably have happened in the case of Angelos. Not all cries and all screams of babies ring the same, so none can hide behind ignorance. Therefore in both cases, many would have noticed and many would have understood what happened but, in the end, no one, or rather few, spoke up.

The excuses for inaction

But what drives someone not to speak up? There are many excuses we make for not doing the right thing or for not having done the right thing.

"How could I've known what was happening?"

In this era of constant media scaremongering, it is impossible for anyone not to have come into contact with the violence that exists around us. So in our time, it is impossible for anyone to act naive and say that they could not have imagined what was happening. 

"I should not get involved..."

Someone may be afraid to report something, so as not to face consequences themselves. This, day by day, tends to disappear. In schools and in the outside world, it is easy to inform someone in charge (the police or a teacher) with little effort and exposure. So much of the fear disappears with anonymity. With it, the excuse for not intervening disappears as well.

The involvement, of course, can also be a tiresome statement to the police or someone testifying as a witness in court. So the protection of a person who is subjected to violence takes second priority over the hassle it would bring.

"It's not my problem..."

Here we are talking about complete indifference. Many times, and with great bitterness and pain, we blame the victim. The victim who we think may be to blame, because perhaps in some way they provoked their fate or that they should harden themselves to learn from this experience.  

Breaking the silence

We humans are not infallible. However, the share of responsibility that falls on the victim is negligible, if one considers the daily torture they endure. How do you make the right decision when you are in despair and fear? Are we, who are emotionally sober, so stingy with our help? Are we content with not offering it to someone we know is suffering, simply because they do not meet our criteria?

In an era where individualism dominates, doing the right thing often seems futile or even naive. It is easy to be content with your life and let others suffer instead of you. That is why it is even more virtuous in our time to do the right thing. Do it because you are disgusted by the suffering of a fellow human being. Do it because you would want them to help you if you were in their place, regardless of whether this is true or not. That is why Cavafy writes in “Thermopylae”:

"And even more honor is due to them

when they foresee (as many do foresee)

that Ephialtis will turn up in the end,

that the Medes will break through after all."

The good you do in the world may not be returned and you will therefore be betrayed. Moreover, even if you do good, you may eventually be hurt by it without much changing. That is why the poet singles out the heroes of Thermopylae. Because despite the impending betrayal and the knowledge of final defeat, they do the right thing.

Only in this way will we see something better in our society. When we do the right thing even when it seems futile. Because, first we help each other and then the individualistic spirit will perish from society. The reverse is not possible.

Let us grieve no other Vangelis nor another Angelos. Often, it's up to us.